distinguishing-miles-from-coltrane-section-header TW13

The Noise of Suffocating Goldfish

I am looking for a place to fall down:
an uncluttered, un-impacted space,
unpressured and expansive.
A place to lay my limbs that I may unease the tension
and gradually stretching out, feel myself growing into the
space around me.
And even at my greatest extent, meet only the confines of a room –
with no questions, concerns, responsibilities or struggles.

I want the feel of the earth supporting me:
to absorb its chill or warmth according to its nature.
To live without a thought in my head for whole minutes at a time.
I want to revel in the glory of stillness:
to move only when necessary;
remembering what it is to wait the moment.
Accumulating time – and little else.
To pause: resting and breathing,
dissolving into the experience of cessation.
I want, (and for some time), the feel of solitude:
to draw the mantle of silence as if
a kind of blanket around my shoulders;
itself warm, soothing, luxurious and plentiful.
To feel myself enfolded in voluptuous layers of quietude.
I want…
Silence and stillness, mirrored in stillness and silence.
Each bringing in its capacity peace, joy,
comfort … and inevitably, tears.
I want a place to lay down my
guilt, uncertainties, wants, shame, weakness,
confusion, questions, doubts, duties, fears, demands,
strivings, responsibilities and capability.
Where I can lower my wearied bones,
take my space and cry all the tears I have
no time for.
I am looking for a place scarcely known,
but deeply remembered.
Tired, I am ready to fall.

SO TELL ME: What do you think of this piece?

  • Did it engage you?
  • Does the meaning come across? Are there any images or lines you don’t understand or find unclear?
  • Are there obvious errors in spelling, punctuation or grammar?
  • Do you have any suggestions for revision?

Please be brutally honest in your assessments – good, bad or indifferent.
I don’t scare easily; and I really do want to hear what YOU have to say about my work.

Many thanks in advance for your time and your criticism.

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AUTHOR: I am might war. I have a love of music, the written word, travel, Anime, polar bears, people and “sticking and colouring”.

4 thoughts on “The Noise of Suffocating Goldfish

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