But before you do so, please note that it is very likely that I shall be hearing this message several days after it has been left. Narcotic fogs cloud the passage of time and I am unable to determine good days and bad days until I am in one.
Please also note that I am regularly unable to do more than make involuntary and unintelligible noises down the phone. Should this happen when you call, feel free to be embarrassed; stutter a quick apology about wrong numbers and then hang up hurriedly.
Should I have the power of speech to engage in your call, my words will be slow and slurred, like a drunk trying to convince others of their sobriety; and my tone will be low and deep and totally unrecognisable as my voice – despite the number of years we have known each other.
And that’s if you can actually understand the words that are coming out of my mouth.
There will be much heavy breathing as I wrestle for control of my vocal chords and sentences will be clipped to contain only the most pertinent words whilst my jaw locks and forces physical distortions that allow for vocalisation of dialogue.
It will be your responsibility to fill in the blanks that put the sense into the present tense.
I shall be forced to repeat things several times until you finally admit to not having a clue as to what I said. There shall then follow a brief period where you attempt to rhyme words you know to the sounds that I make.
I stress “brief”, because the effort it takes to remain focused on the exchange and actually understand what is happening is draining: and I have little patience for your verbal gymnastics.
Even then, it may be necessary to call back at a later time or to ask for a translation from my partner or my sister as they are the most practiced at this situation.
After all this, if you are still inclined to do so, please leave a message after the beep.
God damn this short-term memory loss! I forgot to hang up the phone!!
You can see other bloggers’ relationship with their phones at Daily Prompt: Call Me, Maybe.
SO TELL ME: What do you think of this piece?
- Did it engage you?
- Does the meaning come across? Are there any images or lines you don’t understand or find unclear?
- Are there obvious errors in spelling, punctuation or grammar?
- Do you have any suggestions for revision?
Please be brutally honest in your assessments – good, bad or indifferent.
I don’t scare easily; and I really do want to hear what YOU have to say about my work.
Many thanks in advance for your time and your criticism.
- Sick ‘n’ Tired (An exploration of anger as a healing process)
- Recipe for Disaster
- Vomit … and sh!t
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AUTHOR: I am might war. I have a love of music, the written word, travel, Anime, polar bears, people and “sticking and colouring”.