sick.note-section-header TW13

Vomit … and sh!t

Voice-over: Day 608 in the Sick Brother House, 6.32pm. might war (AKA Crip McWog™) is in the living room and on her fourth consecutive day of her vomit-thon. Over an hour ago, she started on her third retch of the day. She comes to the Diary Room to talk to Sick Brother …

Yes. I’m actually gonna dedicate a whole post to this topic. I’ve spent so much time vomiting, that I am gonna see how many words I can regurgitate on the subject matter (pun intended). I’m aware that it’s not a happy motif, but it is pretty forefront in my thoughts at the moment.

For those of you with sensitive stomachs, my apologies. Feel free to leave the room at any time. Better yet, grab a bin and join in – let’s make this a community event! 😉



So then, you’re probably wondering what has brought this on. That’s easy: because for the last four days, this is how I have been greeting my wife

vomit posture
Is there ANY. WAY. that this can be misconstrued as a come-on?



Yep, that’s me: bent over my desk, bin between the feet, towel in place to catch any “spillages”, and generally making a private party of it. Bet you want me now? 😉

First things first, let me just explain that the reason for flashing is because I get hot flushes with the throw-up – thus the need for regular airing. And like the voice-over said, we’re deep into day four and I could care less what I look like.

The body positioning is also a tried and tested technique. I can sustain it for hours. And now that soiling myself has become a regular feature of my week, I have taken to sitting on the computer chair rather than the sofa. There are a number of reasons for this:

  1. The computer chair is ergonomically designed and so helps with the back pain.

  3. I love our sofa.

  5. It is more cost-effective to replace the computer chair rather than the sofa should numerous soiling accidents take place.

  7. Did I mention that I love our sofa?

  9. It is a deep chocolate, leather one with a recliner at BOTH ends (Oh, the wonder!) and was a bargain purchase in a clearance sale that will probably not be repeated in my lifetime.

  11. Seriously, I don’t know what I’d do if we lost our beloved sofa! Sick smile


As I start writing this, it is 2.37am on day five and I am unable to sleep due the heavy nausea sitting at the bottom of my stomach. But that is much preferred to the up-chucking that I have been doing on and off for the last hour and 53 minutes.

Seriously, I have spent so long looking down into my bin, I am starting to hallucinate white plastic. And so to take my mind off the fuckerty of the whole situation, I thought it might be fun to research the affair and present my findings.


Now, according to NHS choices, “vomiting is the body’s way of ridding itself of harmful substances from the stomach, or it may be a reaction to something that has irritated the gut”.

I can relate to that. Although I think that some of the “harmful substances” my body is ejecting includes several of my medications.

I am currently on 2 prescription medications to treat my severe nausea and vomiting. Unfortunately, I am also on 5 other prescriptions that cause it as a side effect. Unfortunate much?

I have been prescribed a third medication to help with the situation, but unfortunately – at least for me, that is – it is liquorice flavoured. I don’t like liquorice. Never even as a child. The reason for this is because it makes me vom. You read that right folks; the medication I have been prescribed to stop me vomiting, comes in a flavour that makes me vomit!

If nothing else, it shows how little my GP knows me – considering I have been his patient since I was 15½. Ah, the trials and tribulations of the doctor-patient relationship. But what can you do?


The Digestive Process

digestive system

1. Food goes into the mouth; where chewing grinds it up, breaks it down and mixes it with saliva. Saliva also moistens the food so that it can pass easily through the gastrointestinal tract.

2. Then the food is carried down the oesophagus towards the stomach. This takes about 6 seconds after swallowing.

3. The stomach then churns the food and mixes it with acidic juices. This process can take from a few minutes to several hours. When it has been completely churned, the pyloric sphincter opens and the food passes on into the small intestine.

4. Digestion and absorption of fats, protein and carbohydrates takes place in the small intestine before the unabsorbed residue is sent on into the large intestine.

5. Apparently this is one of the “most metabolically active” organs in the body and contains 400 different species of bacteria that break down and utilise the undigested residues of food – mostly dietary fibres. [Who knew?]

6. The large intestine absorbs any water left in the contents and then “the final product – faeces – is formed, which is stored in the rectum before excretion from the body”. (Source:


Don’t you just love the phrasing of the BBC? For a much fuller – and ingeniously interactive – explanation of the process, National Geographic has produced a rather good piece on the digestive system that’s worth checking out.

A recent medical associate of mine also explained that this process is designed for “one way traffic”. And the direction should be DOWN! Which would be why the vomiting action feels like “a violent act”. Because what basically happens is “the stomach almost turns itself inside out – forcing itself into the lower portion of the oesophagus (the tube that connects the mouth to the stomach) during a vomiting episode, expelling food and secretions”(

I’m trying to keep from getting dehydrated by taking small sips of water. But each small sip, small movement and even deep breath sends an excruciating pain screaming across my chest. It feels like my breastbone and immediate environs have been scrubbed hard with sandpaper, then had fire-water poured over it. This lousy experience is due to the Acid Reflux – which is when acid from the stomach leaks up into the oesophagus. And according to, this “may” cause heartburn and other symptoms. May? MAY? The immense pain caused by drinking, eating and breathing causes me to grab at my chest, pant rapidly and fight to stop from screaming the house down; and they advise MAY?!!?*@!


It is official: the following items have now replaced the “little black dress” in my list of essential wardrobe items:


Tilt-action Operator's Chair
Tilt-action Operator Chair: costs a small fortune, but is a hardy little b!gger.


wastepaper basket
FNISS wastepaper basket: available from all good IKEA stockists and is a snip at £1.70.


Bath Towels
Bath towels: pick a colour to match your mood.

The situation has been so bad this week, that I’ve taken to burning winter berries candles just to cover the smell and have got one window cracked open at all times (despite the chilly wind and torrential rain) as I am being overcome by the fumes.

It’s not only the length of time vomiting, but the amount as well. And you know it’s bad when you can’t lift the bin you are using for a receptacle with one hand! Although you probably didn’t want to know that. Never mind.


Lessons learnt from this experience:
1. Throwing up a lot does not, and I repeat; does NOT make you thinner. So scratch that as a dietary aid.

2. The resulting acid reflex is a b!gger. Let’s just leave it at that.

3. I now have a better understanding of the digestive process. See, there is usually a silver lining if you look for one.


And that’s it, Ladies and Gentlemen. I have achieved my goal. Although I do bear in mind that others will consider this a little over share. The first round of this vomiting spell lasted 5 days. Then I got 1½ days break and now Round 2 of this little misadventure is into its fourth day and I am gonna sign off now.

I am knackered and I ache. Any suggestions you may have on easing this predicament would be warmly welcome.

Wishing you a lovely Monday. Take care of yourselves now. 🙂
mightwar signature
AKA Crip McWog™

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AUTHOR: I am might war. I have a love of music, the written word, travel, Anime, polar bears, people and “sticking and colouring”.

11 thoughts on “Vomit … and sh!t

  1. mightwar mightwar mightwar how utterly ghastly….. having had similar problems over the last 18 months (although vomiting attacks so far have not lasted longer than two days although that feels like several lifetimes) and I know the effect it has on your whole body and all the other symptoms you are trying to deal with must be so much worse too. The only way I have stopped the vomiting and ease the spasms in my gut is to stop all my medication for a day. I don’t know if this is an option for you – it’s bad enough for me, bringing on a whole host of other symptoms but I get so desperate to stop the vomiting I just can’t take the meds…I went back to my GP every week for weeks about it. Since getting a new GP I have felt so much more supported and although she can’t make me well she is constantly helping me tinker with meds and coming up with suggestions and referrals (I’m seeing a gastro-enterologist and had scans last week but I’m sure they won’t find anything new because I believe it all to be ME/FM/thyroid. Or to put it another way, my body is just fucked!). Acupuncture helped hugely with nausea but I can’t afford to keep going.

    I know I can’t help but I wanted you to know I’m thinking of you darling and have an inkling of what you are going through. You are a Warrior! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    1. I’m very reluctant to make suggestions as we are all so different but here’s my way of keeping it a bit under control. Firstly is avoiding an attack – I never ever eat a big meal, clearly it triggers spasms, as does anything too fatty. Also nothing with flavours that are strong, tummy is too sensitive. Hence my boring diet and lack of any social life.

      I have also discovered that if I can convince myself that the spasms are my tummy trying to ‘push it downwards’ I can stave off vomiting most of the time. If I feel any cramps at all I go on to Complan with Soya which works quite often and to stabilise me, means I am getting nutrition without bulk. I avoid ALL hi-fibre food in any quantities too. I eat small light meals, rarely eat anything sweet at all (seems to make me worse).

      None of the medication has helped!

      My digestive problems are mostly about spasms although I do have diverticula disease and a hiatial hernia but neither of these should cause all this D&V. When I had a colonoscopy camera the spasms were so bad (although sedated and unconscious!) they had a terrible problem getting it out again lol – so they have told me that my spasms are mighty! They attribute the spasms to ME although the thyroid problem causes muscle spasms too. I do get them all over, up the bum being particularly entertaining and there are in fact even more embarrassing ones, but not in the same league as those you have been experiencing…..

      I’m struggling today, it wants to come up but I’m convincing it to go down at the moment, but it’s touch and go if I’ll win!!

      I hope hope hope the vomiting stops asap darling xxx

    2. And this warrior does not go anywhere without her trusty FNISS – at least, not at the moment.

      We recently changed GP too as at the last appointment, he refused to give me a Sickness Certificate because he considered it to be – and I quote – “a waste of my time”. Can you believe that?! All we were asking for was for him to write a date and sign his own name onto a form and this is the response we get. Suffice it to say that there was an almighty verbal battle followed by us refusing to leave his office until we got what we came for.
      Although he is unaware of it, we changed for both HIS benefit as well as mine. Because the list of people wanting to give him a good kicking for his ineffectiveness and blunt and highly unhelpful behaviour was ever-growing!

      And Fiona, I think we should join forces to campaign for “fucked” to become an officially recognised medical condition. It so totally captures what it needs to. Plus, it’s easier to spell than most possible diagnoses that doctors offer. 😉 What do you think?

      1. lol mightwar I agree ‘Fucked’ should be a diagnosis!!

        BTW I didn’t get a notification that you had responded to me and only saw this because you posted something new so I popped into this one to check – otherwise i wouldn’t have known!

        I can’t believe your GP wouldn’t give you a medical certificate that’s ludicrous. I’m not sure what your financial situation is but aren’t you on ESA in the Support Group? You should be? Are you getting DLA? Dealing with all that stuff as well last year nearly finished me off… GPs have no clue about any of that stuff…

        I’ve been up since 3am clutching my stomach and praying (well breathing and visualising) for the spasms to stop. It’s such a lonely place. I had the audacity to try and partake in the world last night – I set up a ‘Friends of the Park’ group two years ago when I first lost my job and we meet monthly for an hour at 6.30pm and I haven’t even been up to going for the last two months. The social isolation is crippling. So I made myself go last night (mince pies and mulled wine – both of which are a particular passion of mine – or were, nowadays I’m as fearful of even the most appealing foods. If you offered me a Jungle diet of meal worms it would be no more terrifying – I never know what will set off an attack of vomiting). So I had a thimble full of wine and a bite of mince pie and thought I’d got away with it! Nah…..

        As time goes by people find me harder to cope with. They want to help and they can’t. They want to see me, but I’m not in. I’m too tired most of the time to communicate sensibly! I confuse them by having sudden fits of feeling well and becoming the lively dynamic and interesting person I used to be, making plans and arrangements and then never following through….. And I have nothing left to talk about my ridiculous body.

        I’m so grateful for the internet, I have people online who I can talk to who have similar problems and understand and I try not to talk to the people who don’t get it any more.

        I would so love to see you again and will be trying everything to get up for one of your get-togethers but it’s hard!

        Onwards and upwards gorgeous. One thing is for sure, things change – I hope they change for the better quickly for you xxx

      2. Sorry you didn’t get the notification Fiona. Like I say, technology really doesn’t like me. Another alternative when you post a comment is to tick the “Notify me of follow-up comments via email” box just underneath the comment box. In the meantime, I’m gonna try getting the reply via email comment function to work from my end (fingers crossed, eh?).

        Yep, I’ve applied for the benefits that I could; although I had to get my partner and sister to help with this as there was no way that I could hold a pen for that long. Obviously the designers of the forms have never had to fill them out themselves otherwise they would find a more concise and less repetitive format.

        I’m really sorry about the stomach cramps because they suck the big one. I find that hot water bottles both front and back can help at these times. My body doesn’t always respond to medications, but it does to heat. It doesn’t stop the cramps, but it does soothe and relax the muscles a little and sometimes reduces the savageness of them.

        I’m just starting to explore the online community, so maybe I’ll find new playmates to share my woes with.

        If you’re up for it, I’d like to come visit. I won’t need entertaining and we can spend time groaning together and make our own soundtrack for this fuckerty. How about it?

      1. mightwar I would love a visit!!

        I sleep with two hotties (sadly I mean water bottles) and an electric blanket on all night lol! One of the hotties follows me everywhere – I just hate to be parted!

        The on-line community has helped me a lot but it has its down side, for me at least, in that I often don’t see a ‘normal’ person for days at a time and I can get bogged down in the whole thing and I desperately need distraction!! So I limit my time on certain pages/communities, usually to an hour or so in the morning. I seldom look at night and have lapsed into watching godawful tv (I am officially a Real Housewives addict. I know. How did this happen to me? That’s the hidden face of disability if ever I saw one ;-)).

        I hadn’t noticed the boxes and have ticked them so that should sort it!!!

        I hope today is, at least, one of your better days!


        (and thanks Mark LUBIATW!)

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