Voice-over: Day 608 in the Sick Brother House, 6.32pm. might war (AKA Crip McWog™) is in the living room and on her fourth consecutive day of her vomit-thon. Over an hour ago, she started on her third retch of the day. She comes to the Diary Room to talk to Sick Brother …
Yes. I’m actually gonna dedicate a whole post to this topic. I’ve spent so much time vomiting, that I am gonna see how many words I can regurgitate on the subject matter (pun intended). I’m aware that it’s not a happy motif, but it is pretty forefront in my thoughts at the moment.
For those of you with sensitive stomachs, my apologies. Feel free to leave the room at any time. Better yet, grab a bin and join in – let’s make this a community event! 😉
So then, you’re probably wondering what has brought this on. That’s easy: because for the last four days, this is how I have been greeting my wife
Yep, that’s me: bent over my desk, bin between the feet, towel in place to catch any “spillages”, and generally making a private party of it. Bet you want me now? 😉
First things first, let me just explain that the reason for flashing is because I get hot flushes with the throw-up – thus the need for regular airing. And like the voice-over said, we’re deep into day four and I could care less what I look like.
The body positioning is also a tried and tested technique. I can sustain it for hours. And now that soiling myself has become a regular feature of my week, I have taken to sitting on the computer chair rather than the sofa. There are a number of reasons for this:
- The computer chair is ergonomically designed and so helps with the back pain.
- I love our sofa.
- It is more cost-effective to replace the computer chair rather than the sofa should numerous soiling accidents take place.
- Did I mention that I love our sofa?
- It is a deep chocolate, leather one with a recliner at BOTH ends (Oh, the wonder!) and was a bargain purchase in a clearance sale that will probably not be repeated in my lifetime.
- Seriously, I don’t know what I’d do if we lost our beloved sofa!
As I start writing this, it is 2.37am on day five and I am unable to sleep due the heavy nausea sitting at the bottom of my stomach. But that is much preferred to the up-chucking that I have been doing on and off for the last hour and 53 minutes.
Seriously, I have spent so long looking down into my bin, I am starting to hallucinate white plastic. And so to take my mind off the fuckerty of the whole situation, I thought it might be fun to research the affair and present my findings.
Now, according to NHS choices, “vomiting is the body’s way of ridding itself of harmful substances from the stomach, or it may be a reaction to something that has irritated the gut”.
I can relate to that. Although I think that some of the “harmful substances” my body is ejecting includes several of my medications.
I am currently on 2 prescription medications to treat my severe nausea and vomiting. Unfortunately, I am also on 5 other prescriptions that cause it as a side effect. Unfortunate much?
I have been prescribed a third medication to help with the situation, but unfortunately – at least for me, that is – it is liquorice flavoured. I don’t like liquorice. Never even as a child. The reason for this is because it makes me vom. You read that right folks; the medication I have been prescribed to stop me vomiting, comes in a flavour that makes me vomit!
If nothing else, it shows how little my GP knows me – considering I have been his patient since I was 15½. Ah, the trials and tribulations of the doctor-patient relationship. But what can you do?
The Digestive Process
1. Food goes into the mouth; where chewing grinds it up, breaks it down and mixes it with saliva. Saliva also moistens the food so that it can pass easily through the gastrointestinal tract.
2. Then the food is carried down the oesophagus towards the stomach. This takes about 6 seconds after swallowing.
3. The stomach then churns the food and mixes it with acidic juices. This process can take from a few minutes to several hours. When it has been completely churned, the pyloric sphincter opens and the food passes on into the small intestine.
4. Digestion and absorption of fats, protein and carbohydrates takes place in the small intestine before the unabsorbed residue is sent on into the large intestine.
5. Apparently this is one of the “most metabolically active” organs in the body and contains 400 different species of bacteria that break down and utilise the undigested residues of food – mostly dietary fibres. [Who knew?]
6. The large intestine absorbs any water left in the contents and then “the final product – faeces – is formed, which is stored in the rectum before excretion from the body”. (Source: bbc.co.uk/health)
Don’t you just love the phrasing of the BBC? For a much fuller – and ingeniously interactive – explanation of the process, National Geographic has produced a rather good piece on the digestive system that’s worth checking out.
A recent medical associate of mine also explained that this process is designed for “one way traffic”. And the direction should be DOWN! Which would be why the vomiting action feels like “a violent act”. Because what basically happens is “the stomach almost turns itself inside out – forcing itself into the lower portion of the oesophagus (the tube that connects the mouth to the stomach) during a vomiting episode, expelling food and secretions”( MedicineNet.com).
I’m trying to keep from getting dehydrated by taking small sips of water. But each small sip, small movement and even deep breath sends an excruciating pain screaming across my chest. It feels like my breastbone and immediate environs have been scrubbed hard with sandpaper, then had fire-water poured over it. This lousy experience is due to the Acid Reflux – which is when acid from the stomach leaks up into the oesophagus. And according to patient.co.uk, this “may” cause heartburn and other symptoms. May? MAY? The immense pain caused by drinking, eating and breathing causes me to grab at my chest, pant rapidly and fight to stop from screaming the house down; and they advise MAY?!!?*@!
It is official: the following items have now replaced the “little black dress” in my list of essential wardrobe items:
The situation has been so bad this week, that I’ve taken to burning winter berries candles just to cover the smell and have got one window cracked open at all times (despite the chilly wind and torrential rain) as I am being overcome by the fumes.
It’s not only the length of time vomiting, but the amount as well. And you know it’s bad when you can’t lift the bin you are using for a receptacle with one hand! Although you probably didn’t want to know that. Never mind.
Lessons learnt from this experience:
1. Throwing up a lot does not, and I repeat; does NOT make you thinner. So scratch that as a dietary aid.
2. The resulting acid reflex is a b!gger. Let’s just leave it at that.
3. I now have a better understanding of the digestive process. See, there is usually a silver lining if you look for one.
And that’s it, Ladies and Gentlemen. I have achieved my goal. Although I do bear in mind that others will consider this a little over share. The first round of this vomiting spell lasted 5 days. Then I got 1½ days break and now Round 2 of this little misadventure is into its fourth day and I am gonna sign off now.
I am knackered and I ache. Any suggestions you may have on easing this predicament would be warmly welcome.
Wishing you a lovely Monday. Take care of yourselves now. 🙂
AKA Crip McWog™
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AUTHOR: I am might war. I have a love of music, the written word, travel, Anime, polar bears, people and “sticking and colouring”.