I thought we had something going for us. Ours was the start of something beautiful; and then you go and do this.
Without warning; without even offering me a medicinal beverage of my choosing to help stiffen my nerves, you throw me into the lion’s den of Google Maps and watch as I am savagely chewed and then spat out.
I know that you are only trying to help me: trying to “highlight a feature in the WordPress.com Dashboard and challenge [me] to incorporate it into [my] blog”.
But couldn’t this wait ’til the end of the month? Couldn’t you have given me a couple of chances at the Writing Challenge before flooring me with this b!stard of an assignment?
I tried; really I did. I opened the guide in one window and Google Maps in another.
I read a sentence and then pressed the directed buttons. [Mmmm].
I re-read the sentence and re-pressed the directed buttons. [Erm Miss, I think mine is broken].
Then I got all militant with my computer; it in turn looked at me like something it’d found on the bottom of its shoe and then for the sake of my sanity and my neighbour’s goodwill, I turned the b!stard off.
I went back and tried again later. But what I produced could only be likened to a map the way that this:
can be likened to this*.
There is no way that I can deface my blog with the eyesore I created, and so I am writing to say “You win, technology”.
Because if this were a classroom situation, I’d be the kid stood in the middle of the room with afro askew, paint splashed across face and clothing, having inexplicably glued her hand to the paper and with a dazed look in her eyes – wondering what the hell happened.
Honestly, I was rather glad when the convulsions started up as it meant that I couldn’t see the screen anymore and couldn’t approach the computer even if I wanted to.
I’ll pass on this skills test methinks. Maybe I’ll try it again when I’m grown up.
Yours in humble resignation and utter frustration,
* Image source: metro.co.uk. See here for the full story of the Christ fresco.
This piece was written and submitted as part of WordPress.com’s Weekly Writing Challenge. The writing challenges are designed to “help you to push your writing boundaries, show off your blogging chops, and, hopefully, spark more post ideas”. The posts should be specifically written in response to the challenge set.
This week, WordPress challenged us to “incorporate our Google Maps embed feature by plotting out some of the favorite places that you’ve been, or the places you want to go”. You can see how other bloggers responded to the challenge, on Map It Out.
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AUTHOR: I am might war. I have a love of music, the written word, travel, Anime, polar bears, people and “sticking and colouring”.