and-sh!t-section-header TW13

Starting Over

The mirror, it says:
                You have become less.
                It takes so much effort to produce a
                reflection, as you are barely present.

And I am quietened, because I know it speaks the truth.

I have come to this space to face myself.
To speak the candid statement I have been ignoring
for some time now:
                This Cannot Continue.

The words echo so loudly within the sparse room, that my
thoughts are frightened by their noise. And so I turn back
towards my other self.
 
 
The mirror, it says:
                You have become less.
                You are barely present.

And I am stilled, because the truth it speaks is undeniable.

I am here to discuss what is and what happens next,
because what is familiar has been hurting me.

I trace my outline in the glass and note how its surface temperature is
warmer than my skin.
This is the me the world sees now. This near-phantom has managed to convince those about her that all is well; but inside, it
trembles.

I have become a barnacle to those within my life: defined by
what I am to them, they fail to see that I have needs of my
own.
But the fault is mine. I have hidden behind the roles I play
because I wanted for nothing. And in this world, not
wanting is an aberration.

It was not intended. It’s just that I am slow to
come to milestones. But my lack of pace has led others to
discount my hunger.
I have asked and been ignored.
Have propositioned and been mocked.
And unless I start questioning assumptions, I will disappear
completely.

This is my dress rehearsal. Speaking my wants aloud, I
watch as my reflection lists the small changes that I wish for
myself. Hands shiver in anticipation and trepidation as I
consider ways of remaking my personality. Others will have
to be made to think differently about me because it’s true:
                This Cannot Continue.

I nod at my other self and she smiles agreement and
encouragement. Our minds are set on our new course.
 
 
Then the mirror, it says:
                You have become less, but
                you are still present.

And I am heartened, because the truth it speaks is my new beginning.

This much is enough for today.
I will return tomorrow to repeat the process. To reiterate the
conversation until its rhythms find a matching drumbeat that
my feet can move to.
The first step has been made.
 
 

This piece was written and submitted as part of WordPress.com’s Weekly Writing Challenge. The writing challenges are designed to “help you to push your writing boundaries, show off your blogging chops, and, hopefully, spark more post ideas”. The posts should be specifically written in response to the challenge set.

This week’s challenge asked us to “write a short piece of creative writing on the theme of Starting Over”. You can see how other bloggers responded to the challenge, on Starting Over.
 

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AUTHOR: I am might war. I have a love of music, the written word, travel, Anime, polar bears, people and “sticking and colouring”.

2 thoughts on “Starting Over

  1. Pingback: Mute | MightWar

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