What thoughtless comment did I release last time we met that still offends thy gentle ear? That would force you for four days to be absent from my bed?
My thoughts tease me with non-dreams of the times we may have spent these past few days;
of the numerous opportunities I could have had to snuggle with you
and barter for the larger half of a shared pillow with the deft jab of an elbow.
I miss your blurry murmurings in my ear –
which soothe me like a lullaby.
The way you sprawl diagonally across the bed –
crushing me with your weight into such deep slumber,
that I awake rested; and embarrassed by the damp patch on the pillow and that last remaining tendril of saliva that still attaches it to the corner of my mouth.
Were I certain of my wrongdoing against you, I would seduce you with bouquets of apologies;
serenade beneath your window with melancholy renditions of “I want you back”.
But you are a temperamental soul and ignore my pleas to return the delight of your company.
And so I must be patient – and wakeful – a little longer.
But o Sleep, I would have a small favour to ask of you still.
Come collect your cousin, Jetlag:
he has outstayed his welcome;
his suitcases are cluttering up the hallways of my wakefulness;
and his incessant chattering is wearing me out like a b!tch!
SO TELL ME: What do you think of this piece?
- Did it engage you?
- Does the meaning come across? Are there any images or lines you don’t understand or find unclear?
- Are there obvious errors in spelling, punctuation or grammar?
- Do you have any suggestions for revision?
Please be brutally honest in your assessments – good, bad or indifferent.
I don’t scare easily; and I really do want to hear what YOU have to say about my work.
Many thanks in advance for your time and your criticism.
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AUTHOR: I am might war. I have a love of music, the written word, travel, Anime, polar bears, people and “sticking and colouring”.