Heed The (Warning) Signs
Back in 2005, I saw this part of a sign outside an unremarkable building whilst travelling home from work on the bus in Christchurch, New Zealand. I was fascinated by what it meant and dragged Auburn along to check it out later that weekend.
As it turned out, the place sold “adult supplies” and we spent an eye-poppingly informative hour exploring the shop. The biggest surprise was seeing a familiar object in an unfamiliar setting.
They sold traffic cones – yep, you read that right: traffic cones! Obviously they weren’t the really big ones (I’m guessing they were stored out back), more the ones you would mark out a sports pitch with; but still big enough. The width made our eyes water – especially when the guy explained that this wasn’t the largest size they had in stock.
He also explained that they sold each one with a black light pen so people could mark their progress. We laughed. He didn’t.
We were so stunned by our experience that we wrote home about it. Here’s an extract.
Now this led to a discussion on exactly where all that black plastic actually GOES when it has been inserted. One of the more lively – and yet whispered – conversations we have had on the bus ride home.
I mean, I remember the biology classes at school and my parents were not shy about telling me about the birds and bees (or rather, they were not that subtle); but if I recall correctly, the lower orifices actually have quite a short passage – despite the miracle-of-birth scenario where it stretches beyond all imagination and decorum.
So I ask again; WHERE DOES IT GO? How does the human body accommodate what in another situation would be a goalpost for a game of footy in the local park? *shakes head slowly in disbelief and amazement*
And Auburn followed that up with the classic: “And how much of that [length] is pleasure?”. Try as we might to accommodate all this new and interesting information, we couldn’t get beyond the issue of size.
I’m sorry to keep pressing on about this subject, but since I’ve been in that store I have been trying to come to terms with this particular aspect of sexual play. I’m trying to understand this – although truth be told, I may be too scared to understand.
What I want is for someone to explain the ‘why?’ of this to me. I mean, at what point in a relationship do you turn to your lover and say: “Honey, let’s talk traffic cones ….”?
You can see how other bloggers responded to the challenge at The Daily Post
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AUTHOR: I am might war. I have a love of music, the written word, travel, Anime, polar bears, people and “sticking and colouring”.