Then there was the lady at the Huka Falls (Again white; this time from some eastern European destination) who followed me round like a shadow – standing so close, she was practically sniffing me.
Initially I had thought that I was blocking her shot as she tried to take a photo of the magnificent view before us. So I sidestepped and turned to offer an apology through a smile. Only to have the woman step smartly back behind me; her eyes fixed on my skin and giving me the kind of intense scrutiny that I have only seen in the eyes of people who are chatting me up in a desperate attempt to get in my knickers.
So I sidestep again and lo and behold, before I have finished resettling my weight onto my new position, the woman has moved and is perched just behind me like she’s about to whisper sweet nothings.
Auburn and I exchange a look, a raised eyebrow and a smile. This is something I have gotten used to on my travels – basically because I insist on going to places where darkies do not tread. I know it’s gonna take her a while to work it through her system; and in the meantime, I have every intention of enjoying the natural wonders spread before me.
So we take some photos and then start moving down the path to see what else there is to see.
Well, My Little Pasty Friend simply takes to following us – and she is so close I’m getting static on the back of my t-shirt!
I can tell it’s an involuntary movement because she doesn’t even turn round to look where she is going – merely walks sideways with total disregard for her personal safety considering we are in the midst of a large, constantly moving crowd of people who are trying to get the best view in a restricted space very close to a sharp fall into the depths of a stupendous amount of fast-moving water.
Every time I look over my left shoulder I am faced with the earnest and utterly engrossed visage of a pale female whom I do not know. And after a while, it starts to freak me out a little. Sh!t, I have cousins whom I haven’t been that intimate with!
I am finally rescued when her friend appears and collects her – though my friend was fully reluctant to leave me: and not before her friend has got some eyeballing in too.
Don’t stop now, the best bit is on the next page.