At the risk of being perceived as some unwashed skank living in a pit of filth, I have to admit that we have a mouse problem.
The Pest Control people have been in and distributed poison about the house in pretty, miniature cardboard boxes. But the problem with poisons is that you don’t know where the mouse will die. And I really don’t like the idea of having bodies decomposing inside the walls whilst the mouldy smell permeates my home and drives off visitors.
And because mice have soft skeletons and can get through holes the width of a pencil, we’ve emptied cupboards and moved appliances away from walls to fill any cracks/holes with wire wool and expanding foam.
This was our first contact with the foam. Hmmm … let’s just say that some walls no longer look as tidy as they used to.
And we’ve had to throw some clothing away.
Aaahhhh! Get it off me!! Get it off…
Source: Jeff J
So now we are using these little contraptions.
I’ve already caught a finger in one of these whilst setting it up. *Bad words… bad words… bad words…*
And now it’s a race to locate the corpses before the Wife does. But her phobia means that she reflexively checks the traps whenever she enters a room and so when I hear the little squeal and the stampeding retreat, I know that’s my call to grab the disposable gloves and commence the dubious pleasure of disposing of broken, furry bodies in the outdoor bins.
In all honesty, I am losing this fight Ladies and Gentlemen.
This is misleading advertising. Because real mice do not freak out and scamper away at the sight of traps. No they don’t.
They ignore them.
They tap dance gracefully past them.
They run into the middle of the room causing Wifey to stand on the sofa making whimpering sounds whilst desperately scrambling against the walls looking for escape.
Which means I then have to stop watching Star Trek: Into Darkness and soothe her until her blood pressure drops to a level that doesn’t require medical attention.
And then last night, the fuckerty hit catastrophic levels when mouse sounds were heard in the bedroom.
This was more than the wife could handle, so she slept in the bathtub.
Wifey looked something like this – although she didn’t bother with the fashionably-angled cap.
I’d like to be able to laugh this off, but can’t because of the level of distress she is in.
She couldn’t remain in bed because she would wake at every little noise. And then there was the worry about whether the mouse would somehow be able to get onto the bed and run over her face whilst she slept.
Now I don’t have the same aversion to mice as the Wife does (growing up in an African village/town gets you used to animals invading living spaces), but this is the first time in fourteen years of living here that it’s been like this.
And though I understand that the cold is driving the mice indoors, this sh!t has gotta stop!
I need for my Wife to be comfortable in her home once again.
So this weekend, we’ll be washing the house down with Dettol and checking behind the furniture (again). So much for spending quality time.
Really? I got all dressed up for this?
SO TELL ME: Have you ever had a mouse problem? What worked?
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AUTHOR: I am might war. I have a love of music, the written word, travel, Anime, polar bears, people and “sticking and colouring”.