Things To Remember
There is an idiom that states: “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family”.
It is one that has irritated me whenever I have heard it used. Mainly because it was used to dismiss the value of relatives and – in particular – to excuse the speaker’s lack of effort in building and sustaining familial relationships.
My argument is this:
All relationships are about negotiation. And the best relationships occur when the involved parties are able to see the other and understand that “You are not me, but a part of me”.
Just because someone is related to you doesn’t mean that you can overlook the effort it takes to understand their personality and peculiarities.
Common ancestry does not guarantee a common bond.
That awareness you have as an individual seeking to achieve your dreams; the need to be valued for yourself and to be honoured in both your efforts and your struggles? It extends to those who are related to you through blood or marriage.
Therefore getting to know your relatives as people and learning what motivates them is an important part of the relationship that you share.
This process is also important for those times when you have to distance yourself from a family member – if only for the sake of your own mental health and wellbeing.
I’d recommend taking some of that care, attention and interest that you lavish on those who you have chosen to be part of your life, and share it with those of whom circumstance has placed in your life.
You might be surprised by the people populating your family.
You can see how other bloggers responded to the challenge at The Daily Post.
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AUTHOR: I am might war. I have a love of music, the written word, travel, Anime, polar bears, people and “sticking and colouring”.