Tag Archives: Fuckerty

Tauranga

November 3, 2004

Tauranga Train Bridge
Tauranga Train Bridge

Source: http://www.newzealand.com


 

It comes to something when you are forced to go to a McDonald’s in order to obtain an ice-cream!!!!!!

 
 
We have reached Tauranga a “thriving commercial and business centre, busy port and rich horticultural farmland” that with its “combination of location, climate, attractive beaches and many associated activities … has much to offer both the native and the visitor”.

What they fail to tell you is that you need a car to reach any of these attractions! And unless you are a serious shopaholic, all that’s in town of any general interest is the cinema.

Oh, and the man in the clown-like outfit and the unfittingly high voice which made you wonder whether he had suffered some kind of childhood accident involving his testicles being squeezed too tightly for an unseemly extended period of time.
  Continue reading Tauranga

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Blue Pill/Red Pill

Blue Pill/Red Pill. What a magnificent simplification of the process of choosing. Take one, and you are returned to your life as you know and understand it. Take the other, and you are awakened to the “truth” of your existence.
And under it all, lies the implication that the pill itself, will be the catalyst that provides the desired change.

Continue reading Blue Pill/Red Pill

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A Rant In Both Their Ears….

December 23, 2004

As Christmas draws near* and people are drawn into the standard blind panic cycle of spending more money than they in fact possess and attempt to store three months’ worth of food for a one day event, we are reminded that ‘tis the season of goodwill and cheer.

But I am not cheery, Ladies and Gentleman. No. I am pissed, is what I am.

We have been in Wellington for coming up five weeks and still the place is messing us about. How hard can it be to find a job in the capital city of a country? I am a hard worker, feel no way about getting dirty and can handle any amount of stupid hours as long as I get paid.
Continue reading A Rant In Both Their Ears….

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Recipe for Disaster

Less than you would have liked
preparation time

18 months to 1 infinity
cooking time

Serves: 1

Submitted by: Fuckerty Happens
From: The Good-Kicking Guide

Fuckerty Happens scores a
debilitating hat-trick with this
delectable human sponge
soaked in ailments and filled
with suffering.

  Continue reading Recipe for Disaster

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The Invalid’s Answering Machine

Hello, you are through to might war’s answering machine. Please leave your name and a short message after the tone and I will get back to you as soon as I can.

         But before you do so, please note that it is very likely that I shall be hearing this message several days after it has been left. Narcotic fogs cloud the passage of time and I am unable to determine good days and bad days until I am in one.

Continue reading The Invalid’s Answering Machine

New Zealand ‘03: October 25, 2003

Well we are now in Queenstown, the furthest south that we will be traversing on this trip. It is a student town, but not like any I have seen! It is surrounded by magnificent snow-covered mountains and a huge lake (some fifty miles long!!!) – which affords the most amazing views from every direction (including our bedroom window).

Had salmon for dinner – caught fresh this morning (by somebody other than myself that is); and as I sit here relaxing with a glass of wine (the locals know how to squeeze a good grape) and watch the sun setting over the lake, it crosses my mind to complete a few posties (finally) and to update you on my adventure.
 

Some geography for you enjoy.

Continue reading New Zealand ‘03: October 25, 2003

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Sick ‘n’ Tired (An exploration of anger as a healing process)

Don’t do it. Don’t ask “How are you?” Unless you are ready for me to disgorge at your feet the vitriol and the bile of incompetence. To face non-interest in your research of symptoms and the library of diseases this has opened up for consideration.

Continue reading Sick ‘n’ Tired (An exploration of anger as a healing process)

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Muffled

There are parts of ourselves that are so well known to us, that they become an essential part of defining who we are and how we feel about our person. 

My body … my physical self, is that to me.

Continue reading Muffled