Some stories don’t fit inside
a person’s mouth. Some stories
just have to tell themselves.
– mightwar: Unspoken
At the age of fourteen, I made a promise to myself.
I promised that I would never lie to myself about what I feel – even if I lied to others.
It was a significant moment in my life.
I had spent the afternoon perched on a windowsill, weighing the pros and cons of committing suicide.
That promise was a culmination of hours of processing: a decision about how I chose to face the trials that tested my spirit and left me mute.
A moment of stillness and a wealth of opportunity.
But what message to be emblazoned across this untouched landscape?
What theme to be scribbled and then smoothed into easy words?
What revelation to be rhymed and measured to fit?
This barbaric wound has bruised my flesh and left my existence a mottled mess for far too long.
I have become a point of soreness to both eye and mind and it is now time to eliminate the contamination.
I shall use the act of writing as a work surface.
I shall put pen to paper and gather my thoughts onto this page.
I shall regurgitate my senses and dysfunctions until the white space is swallowed up by the dark ink of my words.
I shall recover myself with grace.
Continue reading Recovering With Grace
The start of a New Year is traditionally a time to reflect on the changes we want or need to make. I have been thinking about what a delightful surprise blogging and this website have been. It has provided me with a regular creative outlet, introduced me to people from around the world and brought intriguing and thought-provoking articles to my attention.
Continue reading A New Year’s Resolution
Dear might war,
I am your older self. The self who can look back twenty-four years and see you as clearly as though you were stood by my side.
I am writing this letter as a creative writing exercise: a sort of test to see what I can come up with when given a fixed topic to write about.
I have started this letter several times already, as it didn’t seem right. I didn’t want to tell you too much as spoilers take away the joy of self discovery, but I also know that you promised never to lie to yourself about your experiences and your feelings – even if you hide them from others; so I have decided to speak to you about the things that matters.
Continue reading Letter to My 14-Year Old Self
To aid me in learning the art of blogging, I have been exploring some of the writing challenges that WordPress offers. The Daily Prompts in particular have stirred the imaginative juices, but I’ve had to be realistic about how frequently I can write because I never know what state my body will be in on a daily basis. Instead, I have decided to have a go at some of them anyway and then post them on the site to get feedback about the work I produce. After all, there are a plethora of people out there who have been blogging for longer and I hope to use the thoughts, comments and feedback to help me develop my skills in this area.
And so without further ado, I present my first attempt. This is the Opening Chapter to My Autobiography.
Continue reading Opening Chapter to My Autobiography
OK. So I took my brother-from-another-mother’s advice and set up this site to “share” my writing. This meant that after walking round WordPress, I decided to go ahead and set up a website.
I mean, it’s not like I’m doing much these days.
There then followed a couple of weeks of wrestling with the computer to make it do what the Support pages said it should do.
Continue reading Blogging … and sh!t
tripping over themselves as they
empty out of my mouth.
And it is imperative that I
else I would choke
and my thoughts, my curses my insecurities all,
they would drown me.
Continue reading Nightmare Scenario